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Happy Reading from Chewed News!

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Monday, May 01, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#344)
 
DON'T FORGET TO CHEW THE WATER
 
The Indian government releases thousands of scavenger turtles into the Ganges River each year to help it recycle thousands of decomposing human bodies thrown into it each year. Whole corpses, along with partially cremated bodies, are traditionally thrown into this river by Hindus who believe the water has Holy properties. (Third class families, of which there are millions, usually can not afford to buy enough wood to properly cremate their loved ones. So, symbolically, they burn what they can, then throw the rest into the river.)

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#345)
 
HE SAID A MOUTHFUL ADMITTING HE WANTED A HANDFUL
 
The Dallas grocery chain Minyard's pulled the November 1993 issue of Discovery magazine because the cover photo showed a sculpture of two apes with their genitals exposed. "When it shows the genitals or the breasts," Minyard's president Jay L. Williams said, "We're going to pull it." (Let's hope his hands were soft, too.)

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#346)
 
THE ALBATROSS FOR ALL TAXPAYERS: POLITICAL EGO
 
During a visit to Denver, by then Vice President Al Gore (1993-2001), Hamlet Barry III, chief of that City's water department, decided the South Platte River looked too shallow to serve as a backdrop for Gore's riverfront photo opportunity, so he raised the water level by releasing 96 millions gallons. The Rocky Mountain News reported the water's value at $59,000, which would have supplied nearly 300 families for a year.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#347)
 
WELL, AT LEAST HIS APARTMENT STAYED CLEAN
 
Jermund Skogstad, 50, of Oslo, Norway, moved into his new apartment, then immediately left to shop for food. Unfortunately, he forgot his wallet, which had his new address inside, and soon he realized he could not find his way back to his new apartment. "How embarrassing," he told a local newspaper a month later, hoping his new landlady, to whom he had paid a months rent in advance, might read his story in the paper.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Friday, May 05, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#348)
 
BUT HOW? SHE/HE'S NOT EQUIPPED WITH SNAP-ON TOOLS
 
Dr. Janis Ashley told a Sedalia, Missouri, newspaper she would soon have a sex-change operation so she could find a wife and raise a family. She had been a woman for 11 years, following her first sex-change operation.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#349)
 
MICKEY MOUSE AND DONALD DUCK EXPOSED!
 
After visiting Disneyland, Billy Jean Matey filed a lawsuit in Orange County, California, claiming she and her grandchildren suffered from negligence and emotional distress inflicted on them because they caught a glimpse of Disney characters taking off their costumes, "exposing the children to the reality of the fact that the characters are only make believe."

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#350)
 
HE TRIED BEATING THE LAW BY BEATING HIS ATTORNEYS
 
When a court in Stockholm, Sweden, barred John Asonius, 41, from taping his trial, he took his recorder and beat the heads of both his court appointed defense attorneys. After guards were able to subdue the defendant, and his attorneys were able to stop bleeding and receive medical treatment, his trial began again, with his attorneys sitting at a respectful distance.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Monday, May 08, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#351)
 
A LITTLE EXTRA SHAKING GOING ON BESIDES THAT EARTHQUAKE
 
When U.S. corporations sent relief supplies to India's Maharashtra state after the 1993 earthquake, items included were dental floss, contact lens cleaner and lubricants for sexual intimacy.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#352)
 
PERHAPS HE HIMSELF SUFFERED FROM "ALL IN THE FAMILY"
 
A state representative from Louisiana, Carl Gunter, opposed an exception to an anti-abortion bill for victims of incest, saying "Inbreeding is how we get championship horses."

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#353)
 
WE THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE.............NOT
 
The U.S. Government announced in October 1994 it would reduce funding for food banks and other programs that fed Americans living below the poverty line by $55 million. The same day, the same U.S. Government announced it would spend $47 million to train Haiti's police force.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#354)
 
SOMEBODY CALL THE COPS!.... ON NO!... THEY IS THEM!
 
As many as one hundred New York Police officers, described by Police Commissioner William Bratton as "morons and nitwits," went on a drunken rampage at a downtown Washington, D.C., hotel. Witnesses said officers fired their weapons into the air, groped women, sprayed fire extinguishers, stripped naked and set off fire alarms. After a two month investigation, one officer resigned and twenty-nine were reprimanded for taking their guns out of state.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Friday, May 12, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#355)
 
TRY AND FIND SANE REASONING IN THIS
 
Just before Christmas 2003, ABC NEWS reported the Mexico City Police Department had announced it would not arrest drunk drivers on either Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve because "Most people are home on those two nights anyway."

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#354)
 
IF ALIVE, THE JUDGE COULD'VE SENTENCED HIM TO A HALF-WAY HOUSE
 
Authorities found a body half-way through a basement window, in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. A would-be burglar, wearing a heavy coat and two sweaters against the severe cold, had become stuck squeezing through the 15" by 18" window.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#357)
 
NOR CAN HE PASS GO AND COLLECT $200
 
Jorge Rodriquez, 22, spoke no English and had no lawyer when he appeared in a Kenosha, Wisconsin, court on charges of drunk driving. But he still appeared cheerful and confident as he approached the judge and handed over a GET OUT OF JAIL FREE card, which that county sheriff's opponent in the upcoming election had printed thousands of.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Monday, May 15, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#358)
 
A PARTICULARLY PESKY PIECE OF PARANOIA
 
Several years before his overthrow, in December 1989, Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceaucescu (1918-1989) responded to critical letters written by Romanians to Radio Free Europe by ordering hand writing samples be taken of each and every Romanian citizen, meaning approximately 20 million samples would be required to satisfy his sick mind. (He didn't even have copies of the letters to compare.)

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#359)
 
HOLY BROWN MESS! HOPE NO ONE WAS INSIDE
 
Back in the late 1990s the U.S. Army tested an air-defense gun named "Sergeant York". It was designed to home-in on the whirling blades of helicopters and propeller-driven aircraft. Instead, it ignored the chopper targets and demolished a ventilating fan, as well as the outdoor toilet underneath.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#360)
 
CARE TO GET DRUNK AND DONATE?
 
Dr. Maurice Nelligan, one of Ireland's leading heart surgeons, blamed the police for running such a successful campaign against drunk driving, it had caused a shortage of transplantable organs.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#361)
 
GOT A BAD MARRIAGE? EAT GARLIC
 
At the first International Workshop on Bad Breath, held in Tel Aviv, Shlomo Goren, a former chief rabbi of Israel, declared bad breath is a legitimate reason for divorce. He said several couples had been granted divorces because of halitosis.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Friday, May 19, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#362)
 
WONDER IF HE STOLE THE SHOW?
 
Gordon Benjamin was granted parole from a Shirley, Massachusetts, maximum-security state prison, but decided to remain behind bars for two more months in order to appear as Sir Lancelot in an inmate production of Camelot.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#363)
 
HE MUST'VE GIVEN THAT JUDGE A GOOD TIP?
 
In New Castle, Pennsylvania, Judge Ralph Pratt sentenced Albert Mangino to 30 days behind bars for drunk driving. His Honor then completed the sentencing by giving Mr. Mangino work release status so he could leave jail each day and go to his usual work, betting on horses at West Virginia racetracks.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#364)
 
THEY WERE PLEASED THEIR CAR WAS STOLEN
 
When Dallas police told Charlie and Sharon Reed their banana-yellow 1978 Volkswagen convertible had been recovered they were very happy. And they were even happier when they inspected their vehicle at the police pound. Before its theft, their little car had a cracked windshield and a smashed rear end. Now it had a new windshield, new bumper, new fenders and a paint job.......and a full tank of gas.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Monday, May 22, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#365)
 
HE NEEDED A 'CLEAN' JAR FILLER
 
According to ABC's Paul Harvey News, a young man in Illinois named Copps was on probation for marijuana possession, and was required to take a urine test every 30 days. But, rather than give up the habit, he obtained his urine sample from his cousin. Unfortunately, that urine sample proved the probationer had changed over from smoking pot to using cocaine.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#366)
 
THIS MENTALITY: FROM FATHER AND BROTHER ONE AND THE SAME?
 
While the world moved forward in the 1960s, in Gaston County, North Carolina, a group of parents were demanding all maps used in classrooms have both Germany and "all" African countries removed because they said those countries were all "antichristian." These parents also demanded the Greek alphabet not be taught because the Greeks endorsed homosexuality.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#367)
 
PICTURE THIS HAPPENING TO YOU
 
A tour operator was sued by a German couple who had taken a Caribbean cruise to enjoy Calypso music they were never able to hear. That's because most of the other 600 passengers on board were members of the Swiss Union of Friends of Folk Music. According to the lawsuit, most of the 600 yodeled day and night for the entire 14-days-and-and-nights at sea. A Frankfurt District Court ordered a refund of one-third of the couples $4,478 fare.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#368)
 
HE WAS ANXIOUS TO WRITE A LONG NOVEL, NO DOUBT
 
A stroke victim hospitalized in a Berkeley, California, could only communicate with his eyes, one blink meaning "yes" and two blinks meaning "no", until a local group raised $4,000 to purchase a special computer so he could write sentences with only the slightest touch of his finger. Once everything was installed, and the silent man could express his most needed need, he typed 21 letters and three spaces, which read, "PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Friday, May 26, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#369)
 
"HIS EYES HAVE SEEN THE GLORY OF THE......"
 
Guatemalan President Jorge Serrano Elias defended himself against television footage showing the born-again Christian leaving a New York City topless club, by blaming leftist guerrilla "manipulation" of the video tape.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#370)
 
WHY? THOSE NUMBERS DIDN'T BRING HIM ANY LUCK
 
The New York State Lottery had to suspend the numbers 3569 by noon on December 27, 1989, because too many people had selected those numbers. Why? New York Yankees' manager Billy Martin had been killed a few days before in an accident, and the license plate number on the truck was VR3569.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#371)
 
STICKS HIT BALLS, MEN GET RICH
 
In January 2004, Larry Powell, columnist for The Dallas Morning News, quoted from that paper's archives in 1966, "Single-season homer king and two-time American League MVP Roger Maris, 31, agrees to a $70,000-a-year contract with the New York Yankees." In that same 2004 newspaper, the Associated Press reported, "Two-time American League MVP former Ranger Juan Gonzalez agreed Tuesday to a one-year contract with the Kansas City Royals that guarantees him $4.5 million."

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Monday, May 29, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#372)
 
GUESS THEY DON'T KEEP UP WITH "THE COLONIES" MUCH?
 
According to ABC's Paul Harvey News, when a musical about a U.S. city opened in London, 65% of people questioned there had no idea which city it was about, even though the title of the production was CHICAGO.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#373)
 
A MODERN MUMMY MAYBE?
 
Police in the state of Washington labeled the death of Christian Agar, 27, "suspicious" after his body was found along side U.S. Highway 101 covered entirely from head-to-toe in duct tape. (Perhaps he committed suicide?)

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#374)
 
FLUFFY GOT FLATTENED
 
A Berlin Heights, Ohio, couple sued a local pizza company for $125,000, saying a bad pizza had caused the death of their dog. The suit claimed a pizza they tried to eat was so rotten and moldy, it made them ill. Therefore, it was the pizza company's fault, when they backed out rushing to a hospital, and backed over their poor dog Fluffy. (Fluffy wasn't fluffy anymore.)

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Thursday, June 1, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#375)
 
GETTING "PERKS" IN PRISON
 
The Dayton, Ohio, Daily News reported the Pentagon was providing salaries and benefits for 680 military personnel behind bars for such crimes as murder, rape and child molestation. This error alone cost taxpayers more than $1 million a month. (Someone once wrote, people will get as much government as they are willing to tolerate.)

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Friday, June 2, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#376)
 
PICTURE OWLS WEARING BARF BAGS
 
Some years ago the Illinois state legislature gave the Department of Conservation $180,000 to create a program to study the contents of owl vomit, to determine what foods owls ate during different seasons. (But don't they eat bugs and mice in spring, bugs and mice in summer, bugs and mice in fall, bugs and mice in winter?)

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Saturday, June 3, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#377)
 
THEY NEEDED MATERNITY TOPS, NOT T-SHIRTS
 
Ghanaian police officer Mustapha Garbah testified in an Accra court that he pulled over a Ford Escort for speeding and, at first glance, was amazed to see how ugly the whole family of passengers appeared to be. Then he took a second look and was surprised to discover "the family" was actually fourteen pregnant goats wearing T-shirts. Driver John Ofosu admitted stealing the animals from villages in the Ashanti region.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Sunday, June 4, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#378)
 
THESE COWS WOULD NEED PASSPORTS
 
When villagers in Turalei, Sudan, were interviewed in 1989, they had no idea one of their own, pro basketball player Manute Bol, was famous in America. But they sent a message: "If Manute is still alive, tell him his wife has married another and most of his cattle were stolen. But if he has no cows and wants to marry an American woman, we can get the cows together for him. Just let us know how many cows the woman's family demands."

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Monday, June 5, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#379)
 
YOU CAN BET SHE GOT ALL FLUSHED OVER THAT DECISION
 
The Virginia Supreme Court upheld a $150,000 jury verdict to Martha J. Love for back injuries sustained when she fell off a loose toilet seat in a Richmond office building.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Tuesday, June 6, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#380)
 
RIDES? BET ALLIGATORS LOVE TO GIVE RIDES, SLURP!
 
The Georgia State Gaming Commission had spent a goodly amount of time arguing pro and con on what regulations were needed for alligator rides, when they realized a tiny typing error had created "alligator rides" instead of "alligator hides".

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Wednesday, June 7, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#381)
 
PERHAPS HE CAN JUST CHANGE OVER TO THE BANJO?
 
Cellist Augustinas Vassiliauskas of the Soviet Vilnius string quartet was climbing back to the podium for the third round of applause at the 1980 Kuhmo Music Festival when he tripped and fell on his prized Ruggieri cello, breaking the 300-year-old instrument beyond repair.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Thursday, June 8, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#382)
 
HE COULDN'T THUMB HIS NOSE AT THOSE RULES, OR ANYTHING
 
The Supreme Court upheld a ruling that cut off disability benefits to Paul E. Spragens of Wyoming. With no use of either arm, and limited use of his legs, Mr. Spragens was earning $349.26 a month as a book indexer by typing with his toes, but Federal rules limited his disabled earnings to no more than $300 a month.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Friday, June 9, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#383)
 
THEY CLIMBED THE RUNGS TO MAKE THEIR RUN
 
Several inmates escaped from a prison near Aix-en-Province, France, by climbing over the wall on ladders left behind by workers installing wire on top of the walls... to stop escapes.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#384)
 
THESE OWNERS WANTED THE JOB DONE RIGHT
 
General Motors notified Buick LeSabre owners their cars' instruction books contained an error, and attached a corrected manual with these instructions for proper use: "Please place the (new) owner's manual in your vehicle's glove box and discard the old manual. Or, take the new manual to your dealership and it will be installed free". A Chicago Buick dealer said he had two owners bring in their new books for installation.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#385)
 
THIS GUY WAS TRYING HARD TO CLEAN UP HIS ACT
 
A Houston man was fined $10,000 and placed on ten years probation for stealing nearly 80,000 rolls of toilet paper from the Jefferson Davis Hospital.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Monday, June 12, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#386)
 
HE SUFFERED FROM A GENERAL-RUN-DOWN FEELING
 
Irishman Bob Finnegan, 22, was crossing a Belfast street in 1976, when struck by a taxi. Before he could get up off the street, he was hit by another car, knocking him into the gutter. As a crowd gathered, a small van plowed into the crowd, injuring three, and hitting Finnegan again. When a fourth vehicle headed for the crowd, all scattered, allowing the vehicle to run over Finnegan again. (In two minutes Finnegan suffered a fractured skull, broken pelvis, broken leg, and other injuries. Hospital officials did said he would recover.)

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#387)
 
WHY NOT NEEDLES AND THREAD TO SEW THEIR MOUTHS, ALSO?
 
People living near Hong Kong stadium objected to a planned rock concert because of the noise. To please both the fans and the neighbors, the promoters handed out more than 17,500 pairs of gloves to those attending the concert... to muffle their applause.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#388)
 
HE HAD ABOUT ALL THE CRAP HE COULD TAKE
 
A man using an outhouse near Lawrence, Kansas, lost his footing while trying to retrieve his wallet, and fell through the toilet seat into the storage pit below. He was stuck there for seven hours in three foot deep human waste before being rescued. Douglas County Sheriff Loren Anderson said the man was unhurt "but in a pretty bad mood".

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#389)
 
WONDER IF THE BAILIFF AND COURT REPORTER GOT IN ON THE FUN?
 
Convicted of murder in Mendocino, California, Thomas Marston argued in his appeal that conflict of interest had caused the conviction. To support his case, Marston submitted evidence his attorney had fathered the child of the female district attorney, who, in return, was hassling his attorney, the father, for child support. And a witness told the appeals court the mother told her the father of her child was not the lawyer, but the judge in the case.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Friday, June 16, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#390)
 
OTHER THAN THAT, HOW WAS THEIR FLIGHT?
 
A small plane crash-landed at Toledo's Express Airport in Ohio in 1984. But not even the control tower noticed for half an hour. That's when one of the three occupants of the little plane was able to drag himself to the main terminal and ask Express employees for help. (Take a number buddy. We'll be right with you.)

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#391)
 
THEY SHOULD'VE PRACTICED IN THEIR ROOMS ON THEMSELVES FIRST
 
Two men with pistols fired a total of twelve shots at each other, within only a few feet of each other, in the hallway of their Cleveland, Ohio, apartment. But no one was injured. Police speculated the men, age 76 and 77, missed because one had glaucoma and the other had to prop himself up with a cane each time before firing.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#392)
 
TOO BAD HE WASN'T STANDING BEHIND ONE
 
John Sedgwick

      John Sedgwick

What was the last thing Union Major General John Joseph Segewick said in May 1864, at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House? "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distan....."

 
Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Monday, June 19, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#393)
 
COST THIS DRUNK ONE YEAR IN JAIL AND $100 PER DEATH
 
A court in Anahuac, Texas, sentenced a 60-year-old man to five years in prison and a $500 fine for being intoxicated during an accident involving 25 vehicles and killing five people. He had 18 previous drunk driving convictions.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#394)
 
THERE'S SOMETHING CROOKED GOING ON HERE
 
In 1987, players for the Stroitel Cheropovets soccer club, in the old Soviet Union, reported their manager for corruption. They accused him of keeping the money they had given him to bribe referees.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#395)
 
TRUE LOVE IN A PRIMATE
 
A female monkey in the city of Kanpur, India, jumped onto a high-tension power wire and electrocuted herself, causing a city blackout for several hours. Ten days earlier, her mate had died when he jumped on the same wire and also blacked out the city. The United News of India reported the female had visited the site of her mate's death daily until she jumped to her own death.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#396)
 
THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED "MONKEYING AROUND"
 
In 1985 British zoos stopped training chimpanzees to mimic humans at tea parties, which they had been doing for years to entertain visitors. Researchers said the chimps were losing their own identities so completely they had given up sex, and the zoos were running low on their kind. (No sex, please! We're British.)

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Friday, June 23, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#397)
 
NOT A GOOD WAY TO "CUT THROUGH TRAFFIC"
 
Even though Kenneth Worles' drivers license had been suspended six times, he didn't let that stand in his way. Naples Florida police arrested him again for drunk driving, when he ran a red light at a busy intersection, riding his ten-horsepower lawn mower.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#398)
 
THESE SUPPORTERS WANTED CHECKS FOR ATHLETIC SUPPORTERS
 
The Dallas Morning News reported the fathers of two girls playing on a soccer team in Denton, Texas, became angry because their team was losing badly, and demanded the gender of two of the other team's players (age 10) be physically examined. (The fathers were suspended as spectators for the rest of the season.)

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#399)
 
THESE TRAINS GIVE THEM TRANSFERS TO HEAVEN
 
Picture of Andy Warhol

Andy Warhol

The most popular suicide location in Caracas, Venezuela, is beneath the city where all underground trains must pass. The favorite time of day to die is during rush hour, when it is possible for a desperate soul to spread-eagle across enough tracks to shut down the entire transit system for about one minute. (Andy Warhol, what about these folks' other fourteen minutes?)



Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Monday, June 26, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#400)
 
WATCH WHO YOU HANG OUT WITH (OR ARE CONNECTED TO)
 
Judge Juan Flores sentenced Jose Lopez of Villarrica, Paraguay, to die for first degree murder with a shotgun, even though it meant his Siamese twin brother Alfredo, joined at his side, would also die for the crime he tried to stop his brother from committing.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#401)
 
THAT'S GREAT. THEY'LL BE ABLE TO GO OUT FOR PIZZA
 
When officials in Wellington, New Zealand, applied for a permit to build a new jail, the city's new building code required all persons (which automatically included prisoners) to have access to an exit in case of fire. "Which means if you put a prisoner behind bars," Regional Commander Murry Jackson said, "you have to give them the key to get out."

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#402)
 
WHY NOT?
 
From Ohio: Noting the Toledo Express Airport was buying homes near its runways because the jet noise exceeded government standards, Mayor Carty Finkbelner suggested the homes be sold at a discount to the hearing impaired.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#403)
 
FINAL SCORE: GOLDFARB-0 GOD-1
 
Jason Goldfarb, 17, a junior at Nashoba Regional High School in Massachusetts, climbed to the top of a goal post on the school's football field, and placed a wreath in memory of two classmates killed two days earlier in a car wreck. As Goldfarb placed the memorial, and looked skyward in prayer, the five-hundred-pound goal post fell forward, crushing him to death.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Friday, June 30, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#404)
 
STINKING BILL COLLECTORS
 
A London bill collection agency, Smelly Tramps, LTD., sends out foul smelling bums to sit in the offices of those with unpaid bills. The stinky chemicals they wear on their bodies makes the air virtually unbreathable in only a few minutes. They also advertise a successful collection rate of around 90%.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#405)
 
POOR BABY......OR FOOD FOR THE AQUARIUMS' FISH?
 
A baby whale beached during a storm near the Marineland Aquarium, in Mystic, Connecticut, received both heart massage and mouth-to-blowhole resuscitation by the aquarium staff, but still died.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#406)
 
LET'S HOPE THEY NEVER LOSE THOSE FISHING POLES AT GUNPOINT
 
In Kennesaw, Georgia, north of Atlanta, a 1982 ordinance requires all able-bodied residents to have a gun and ammunition. The city council of the neighboring town, Acworth, Georgia, responded by passing an ordinance requiring all households to own fishing poles.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Monday, July 03, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#407)
 
DUH!
 
Head-On Collision

During the first year of operation on the 164-mile expressway between Beijing and Shijiazhuang, 404 people were killed and 1,028 were injured in traffic accidents. Authorities blamed the high fatality rate on a middle lane that allows cars to pass in both directions, causing many head-on collisions.



Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#408)
 
THEY HAVE KEYSTONE COPS IN THE UK, TOO
 
Nine British police officers in Coventry, England, squeezed into an elevator made for eight, causing it to stall between floors. A resident of the building, Eddie Laidle, heard their shouts for help and hollered to them he would call police. To that they shouted back, "We are the bloody police! Call the fire brigade!!!"

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006 - On Vacation
Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Thursday, July 06, 2006 - On Vacation
Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Friday, July 07, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#409)
 
DID YOU PARTY ANIMALS OVERLOOK THIS SALE?
 
Steve Blow's column in the Dallas Morning News February 6, 2004, told his readers of a "ponzi scheme" which, after collapsing, left 73,000 liters of cheap corn vodka and 7 million condoms in a Panama warehouse with no buyers.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Saturday, July 08, 2006

FACT OF THE DAY (#410)
 
THEY SHOULD'VE FED-EXED THEIR NEW ITINERARY
 
The German Federal Prosecutors' office received, on March 3rd, a letter, dated March 2nd, from the Red Army terrorists group taking responsibility for the March 3rd assassination of Agriculture Minister Ignaz Kiechle. On March 4th, that same office received another letter, dated March 3rd, explaining the "hit" letter had been mailed just before the assassination was called off. They had made a mistake.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Sunday, July 09, 2006

FACT OF THE DAY (#411)
 
YUM YUM, BOO HOO, YUM YUM, BOO HOO, YUM YUM.............
 
Stockholm's Skansen Park Zoo was forced to cut back on its number of bear cubs because of severe overcrowding. A 2-year-old cub named Molly was selected, pulled from her den, beaten to death, then cleaned and cooked for the staff to eat. One employee declined the meal, saying, "Molly was so nice, I couldn't take a bite."

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Monday, July 10, 2006

FACT OF THE DAY (#412)
 
THEY PROBABLY DIDN'T GIVE 2-FOR-1 OFFERS?
 
Charles Rogers, 67, of Drapestown, North Ireland, was watching his brother's grave being dug when the sides began caving in. Reaching down to help the gravedigger, Rogers lost his balance and fell to the bottom. The headstone immediately followed, crushing him to death.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006

FACT OF THE DAY (#413)
 
ALL SIMPLY BECAUSE LAWYERS MAKE LAWS
 
The 23 lawyers who formed Rodney King's (He was the object of Los Angeles' riots on April 29, 1992) legal team submitted a bill to the city of Los Angeles for $4.4 million, over half a million more than Rodney King got himself, $3.8 million. "All I ask is a day's wages for a day's work," said Steven A. Lerman, one of King's attorneys.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#414)
 
CHEAP KITCHENWARE AND FREE FURNITURE, WOW!
 
At one time the Kuwait's Charity Committee for the Marriage Project tried urging married men to take more wives (Islamic law allows up to four). Hoping to lower the number of spinster women in that country, the committee was willing to give each multi-husband wedding gifts of: a loan (equivalent to $2,800); cheap kitchenware; and free furniture.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#415)
 
HIS HEAVY FOOT GOT EXPENSIVE
 
When police in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, pulled over a motorist, he immediately jumped from his car and threw his radar detector to the pavement. Then, while jumping up and down on it, he raged, "I paid $500 for this damned detector and it doesn't work!" Police then explained they had stopped him for not having a front license plate.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Friday, July 14, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#416)
 
JUST HOW GOOD WAS THEIR BEHAVIOR?
 
After admitting he "made a serious judgment error," the administrator of Montana's Corrections Division resigned. As a reward "for good behavior," he had taken three female prisoners, one serving a life sentence for murder, to a Billings restaurant for dinner.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Saturday, July 15, 2006

FACT OF THE DAY (#417)
 
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE, UH....CHILI OF AMERICA?
 
In Potter County, Texas, the national flag of Chili flew over the courthouse a full day before Assistant District Attorney Paul Hermann asked why. He was told the manufacturer had accidentally sent the like-colored Chilean flag, and the flag-raiser didn't notice the difference.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#418)
 
THEY SHOULD'VE SAID INSIDE A KNEE-DEEP CITY SEWAGE TANK
 
More than 500 people mobbed the Ft. Worth Texas Central Library, throwing books from the shelves, all because local radio station KYNG-FM claimed they'd hidden $5 and $10 bills between the pages of the books there. This assault of people knocked books from the shelves, leaving many with ripped spines and torn pages. The station apologized, saying they had only tried to give added inspiration to National Library Month.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Monday, July 17, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#419)
 
PERHAPS HE ONCE SAW A SHIRT WITH A BULL ON IT?
 
A Washington, D.C., man was indicted by a federal grand jury on charges of committing five bank robberies. A common link in three of the robberies were notes asking for the money, then ending with the word "bullshirt."

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#420)
 
ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME
 
When Yitzhak Krasiltchik left the Soviet Union for migration to Israel and landed at Ben Gurion Airport in Jerusalem, he became the 100,000th immigrant. The 87-year-old man and his family were then whisked off the runway in a limousine to a "welcome party" at the airport lounge. Later, after the party was over, and all the dignitaries and well-wishers had left, the Krasiltchiks discovered they had missed the bus to their new home in the Negev Desert. Then they realized they were the only ones left at the airport, had no way to leave, and no place to stay.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#421)
 
WELL, THIS BEATS A MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE
 
Fortune magazine reported, in 1988, some employees of Merrill Lynch's New York office had such poor interoffice mail service they actually found it faster to send their in-house mail via Federal Express. Fortune reported, "Memos were whisked from floor to floor via Memphis, Tennessee."

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#422)
 
A SPLEEN THAT BECAME A CASH COW
 
The California Supreme Court ruled cancer patient John Moore was entitled to profit from his enlarged, cancerous spleen, which had been removed by surgeons. After the operation, doctors used the spleen to develop anticancer drugs, and Moore wanted part of the profits, estimated to be around $3 billion. (The amount won was to be determined.)

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Friday, July 21, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#423)
 
HOW ABOUT A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR ONE WHO CAN'T?
 
In Narooma, Australia, 16-year-old Gregory Hammond, who was born with only one hand, finished second in a men's 100-meter swim race. That is until officials checked their international rules book. They then declared he had not won any place in the race because the rules firmly state participants must touch the ends of the pool with both hands.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Saturday, July 22, 2006

FACT OF THE DAY (#424)
 
GOOD THING. IF HE'D CROSSED HIS EYES HE MIGHT'VE GONE BLIND
 
Baseball player Jamie Allen, whose professional career was riddled with injuries, was out of action again at the Seattle Mariners' 2004 spring camp, after crossing his legs while watching television, pulling a groin muscle.

Andrew J. Hewett

Copyright ©2006-2008 Andrew J. Hewett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or redistributed without the consent of the author.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
FACT OF THE DAY (#425)
 
THEY TEACH SPORTSMANSHIP AND BIGOTRY TO CHILDREN
 
Little League Inc. of Williamsport, Pennsylvania, refused to sanction a league for disabled youngsters in Boston, Massachusetts. It also threatened to revoke the charter of that city's Little League unless they severed all ties with the teams that carried players with Down's Syndrome and multiple sclerosis.