Archive of Fact of The Day 2007

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Monday, January 01, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#585)

NOW, THIS OLD BOY REALLY WAS A CON ARTIST

During federal court proceedings in 1993, while Charles J. Bazarian was being convicted of swindle, he was charged with a second swindle; This time he had bilked the district attorney of Irvine, California, who should have known better, considering he, himself, had prosecuted Bazarian three years earlier on bank swindle. But this hoodwinked DA still invested $8,000 with the defendant in an Oklahoma company,....... worth exactly zero.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#586)

AND WHAT IF HE LOST HIS JOB AFTER ONLY 1,000 YEARS?

American William G. Stern, 33, admitted in a London court he owed close to $209,000,000. He had borrowed the money on behalf of 180 companies he once controlled, but then lost everything in the British property market's collapse. In good faith, he offered the judge a repayment plan of $12,000 each year for life. (Without interest or late charges, those payments would take him more than 17,416 years to complete.)

Andrew J. Hewett

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Wednesday, January 03, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#587)

DURING LOVEMAKING, HE BECAME TOTALLY DRAINED

By the time Attila the Hun died in 453 A.D., he had conquered all of Europe. How did he die? He overexerted himself enjoying his favorite sport, sex. He blew a blood vessel and hemorrhaged to death.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Thursday, January 04, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#588)

HEREDITY? ENVIRONMENT? SCIENCE HAS MUCH TO LEARN

In 1993, Dale Chester, 22. was sentenced to 3 years by a California court for raping his brother Rubin's pregnant wife. Dale's other brothers Leonard, 32, and Samuel, 29, were already serving long terms for violent rape of 5 different women on separate offenses. Rubin, who's pregnant wife got raped, was serving time for robbery and assault. What kind of parents raised these dangerous men? Their father is a minister, their mother a Christian missionary. (Those who knew these violent men as boys said their parents were wonderful role models.)

Andrew J. Hewett

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Friday, January 05, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#589)

THEY COULD PARACHUTE DOGS, THEN DOG CATCHERS, THEN ....

To kill mosquitoes on Borneo in the 1960s, the World Health Organization sprayed so much DDT it disrupted the food chain, allowing the island to become overrun with rats. Then, the United States got involved by parachuting large numbers of cats to control the rats, which caused ................................

Andrew J. Hewett

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Saturday, January 06, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#590)

NEVER CONFUSE JUSTICE WITH REALITY, EVER

As a young and beautiful model, Marla Hanson had just gotten her career started in 1985, when three men took straight razors and sliced up her face. She was later awarded $78,183,000 in an uncontested judgment. But, with the three men serving from five to fifteen years, with no incomes, Ms. Hanson relived her horrible experience in court for basically nothing.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Sunday, January 07, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#591)

WHAT HE TICKLED WAS NOT THEIR FANCY

"In my 28 years on the force, I've never encountered a case like this," Nassau County Detective Louis Fucito said, shaking his head. He'd just arrested Richard Hunter, 20, son of the Reverend Richard Hunter, pastor of the Friendship Baptist Church in Roslyn Heights, New York. The young Hunter was suspected of the random foot ticklings and shoe thefts of six young women.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Monday, January 08, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#592)

ALL TO WATCH A BUNCH OF CARS GO IN CIRCLES

A race car driven by Pierre Levegh skidded off the track during the 1955 Le Mans Grand Prix, crashed into a crowd, bounced into the air, then exploded, injuring over 100 plus killing the driver and 82 spectators. (Question: Do race car fans go to races hoping for horror?)

Andrew J. Hewett

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#593)

KIND OF SOUNDS LIKE REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS

For centuries, once a year, in the western state of Maharashtra, India, women would come down to a canal dividing their villages (Sukhed and Bor line) and, on cue, start shouting and insulting each other across the waterway. That tradition went back many years to when both villages had the same chief, who had two wives, one living on each side. (This annual event was canceled by the police in 1992.)

Andrew J. Hewett

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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#594)

IF YOU'RE ARMLESS, DON'T TAKE A DUMP HERE

Beautiful Singapore, definitely the cleanest large city on earth, uses a "Loo Patrol" to watch their public toilets. Much like meter maids giving parking tickets, these inspectors first hover and listen closely. Should a user not flush, the law allows these public potty protectors to issue the offending non-flusher a ticket, which can cost up to 1,000 Singapore dollars.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Thursday, January 11, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#595)

BUT DID HE MAKE AN ASS OF HIMSELF WHEN DRINKING?

The Havana, Cuba, news agency Prensa Latina reported several years ago on Pancho, a burro living at a bar overlooking the Mayabe Valley in eastern Cuba. Veterinarians who watched Pancho drink up to 30 liters of beer a day, warned if he did not "cut back" he would develop liver problems.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Friday, January 12, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#596)

EXTREME LESSONS TEACH THE MOST THE FASTEST

Just over a decade ago, performing artist Ron Athey went on stage at the Walker Art Museum in Minneapolis, Minnesota, with an unusual act. Volunteer Darryl Carlton joined him on stage, then removed his shirt. Next, he allowed Athey to slice open his back. Athey then soaked up the blood from the cuts into towels and passed them to the audience for inspection. They were later told Mr. Carlton had AIDS, and the act was designed to educate and enlighten the AIDS-phobic public that this disease is not that easy to catch.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Saturday, January 13, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#597)

R*E*S*P*E*C*T, FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO ME!

A multi-denominational church in Hewitt, New Jersey, offered a support group for those who felt low self-esteem because they seldom got the respect they thought they deserved. But on the first night of the first meeting that image was reinforced, unfortunately. When those enrolled arrived at the church's front door, they found a note reading: Those attending the "low self-esteem" support group will need to enter the church through the back door.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Sunday, January 14, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#598)

SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY NICE GUY

UPI reports on a robber, in Chicago, who returned to a bank he had robbed the previous December and introduced himself to the same teller, asking if she remembered him? He then used the same crumpled note demanding cash. (Later he was arrested, and police were very glad to see him.)

Andrew J. Hewett

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Monday, January 15, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#599)

AND GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD ...................

While William Joseph Brennan (1906-97) was U.S. Supreme Court Justice (1956-1990), Los Angeles minister R.L. Hymers, Jr., repeatedly begged his parishioners to pray for Brennan's death, saying only God could empty that high seat, allowing an antiabortionist justice to be appointed.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#600)

LAWS CAN'T PROTECT PEOPLE FROM THEMSELVES

Between 1981 and 1986 the Florida fatality rate involving drunk bicycle riders doubled. Reason was, according to Florida's Department of Transportation, tougher drunk driving laws enacted in 1981 caused many drunk drivers to lose their licenses.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#601)

KINDA TOOK THE FUN OUT OF HIS TRIP

In 1984, Thomas Tyrrell, 35, walked from Detroit to Washington, D.C., to encourage more research into his handicap, multiple sclerosis. Finally, standing on the U.S. Capital's lawn, mentally preparing to make his plea before congress, Tyrrell was knocked to the ground by two men, hit in the stomach, kicked in the groin, his crutch broken, and his last $55 stolen.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Thursday, January 18, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#602)

PRIMAL HORMONES COLLECTING MODERN DEBTS

The company Bodywise, a London manufacturer of fragrances, began marketing Aeolus 7 some ten years ago, mostly to debt collectors. Those using this product were amazed to see increases in payments from deadbeats up by nearly 17% as long as the mailed paper billing notices were treated with this "unique" smell. It was so successful, in fact, some agencies were willing to pay the price of $6,000 per gram. (The product's main ingredient is the pheromone adrostenone, the essence of smell from men's unbathed armpits and groins.)

Andrew J. Hewett

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Friday, January 19, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#603)

COMPETITION AT ITS VERY BEST

The 1931 U. S. Open Golf Tournament finished with players George Von Elm and Billy Burke tied at 292 strokes each. These two then played another 36 holes and tied again with 149 strokes each. After playing 72 more holes, Billy Burke won by one stroke.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Saturday, January 20, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#604)

AREN'T STEPCHILDREN THOSE CONCEIVED ON STAIRWAYS?

In The Dallas Morning News Corrections and Clarifications, August 5, 2004: "An article in Sunday's Metro section incorrectly referred to Sarah Lawhorn as the ex-wife of Elvin "Bubba" Ryder III. Mr. Ryder, who was remembered at a memorial service Saturday, was never married to Ms. Lawhorn. Additionally, he did not have stepdaughters."

Andrew J. Hewett

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Sunday, January 21, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#605)

DO THE LOSERS HAVE TO SWIM THE RIO GRANDE HOME?

The Dallas Morning News and the Associated Press reported in September of 2004 a new reality show would soon air locally at 6:00 p.m., Monday through Friday, on KMPX-TV Channel 29. Contestants, they said, would swallow live tequila worms, try and catch pigs drenched in butter and jump between 18-wheelers. The grand prize,.........an immigration attorney who would try and help the winner get a green card.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Monday, January 22, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#606)

APPARENTLY, IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE, NOT?

Pompano, Florida, undercover police set up a sting operation involving two pounds of cocaine, hoping to arrest two drug suspects who had just arrived in the area. But during the sting, the Pompano officers found they were arresting two undercover officers from Fort Lauderdale.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#607)

WHAT'S PINK, AND KINKY? THESE DIRTY BIRDS

USA Today reported in 1993 that Florida Wildlife Park officials were planning to set up mirrors around six Caribbean flamingos to increase their numbers. Why? Flamingos prefer having sex in groups.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#608)

BUT DID THAT PEDESTRIAN ROADKILL 'DING' THE CAR'S PAINT?

An $81,000 lawsuit was filed against police in Santa Barbara, California, by Godfrey Naim, 45, after he was arrested for knocking down, and running over a jaywalker. Mr. Naim's complaint involved the treatment of his expensive Maserati sports car while in their possession overnight, outside, uncovered.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Thursday, January 25, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#609)

HIS MOM WAS REALLY A ROTTEN PERSON

When Escondido California police pulled over a van driven by Arthur Armbruster, they were surprised by his only passenger, his 87-year-old dead mother. Mr. Armbruster explained he'd already buried her twice, but had "visions" neither grave was right for her. "He's been driving around Mom long enough", said detective Joe Santibane. "I think that Mom is going to have to be taken away from him".

Andrew J. Hewett

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Friday, January 26, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#610)

WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THIS HAPPENING?

As Federal agent Carlos Montalvo moved in to arrest a drug dealer in Hialeah, Florida, the suspect pulled a gun and fired from close range directly at Montalvo, yet the agent stood erect. The bullet from the suspect's gun fired straight down the barrel of the agent's service revolver. Montalvo escaped with no more than facial cuts, caused by flying fragments from his own gun.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Saturday, January 27, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#611)

THIS GUY RUINED THE COPS' FUN

An emergency call reporting a man holding a woman at knife point in Tulsa, Oklahoma, caused police to surround a house, which turned out to be next door to the address of the attack. While specially trained negotiators tried to make contact with the suspect, the suspect came from next door to give himself up. But the police, being expertly trained, refused his begs for handcuffs; that is until a reporter convinced them their suspect was him.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Sunday, January 28, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#612)

HE MAKES SCROOGE SOUND LIKE FATHER CHRISTMAS

With a reporter present, Guey Wong, owner of a cab service in San Francisco, explained why he had to fire a 22-year-old female cab driver because she had been raped in her cab while a loaded gun was held to her head. Mr. Wong explained, "I can't afford to take any chances. I'm lucky the cab wasn't hurt. You might endanger my insurance, you might increase my rates."

Andrew J. Hewett

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Monday, January 29, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#613)

YOU MIGHT GET TIRED OF ROTATING THESE TIRES

At their plant in Topeka, Kansas, Goodyear manufactures giant truck tires 11'6" tall, weighing 12,500 pounds, and costing $150,000 each.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#614)

HAD THEY BEEN BURIED, WOULD THEY'VE FELT THE SAME?

With precision teamwork firemen in Moraga, California, pulled a man from a caved-in trench and saved his life in a three hour rescue that went off without a hitch. That is until the Occupational and Safety Health Administration (OSHA) cited the fire department for rescuing the victim from the 12-foot deep trench without shoring up the sides with code quality wall supports.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#615)

DID HE LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP...OR DOWN, IS THE QUESTION

Returning from a weekend ski trip, Jeff Hill and his wife found Richard Roe, 45, living in their Burbank, California, home, wearing Mrs. Hill's lingerie. He had moved furniture, emptied perfume bottles, thrown away food and left notes around the house about then (1986) President Ronald Reagan, as well as actress Sally Field.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Thursday, February 01, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#616)

DON'T EAT LUNCH AT YOUR DESK, USE A COMMODE SEAT INSTEAD

ABC's Paul Harvey News reported on a study concerning sanitation in today's business offices. The report stated a square inch of the tested desk tops contained an average of about 21,000 germs, 4 times the number found on toilet seats in restrooms used by these same workers.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Friday, February 02, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#617)

REMINDER: READ BEFORE USING

Toilet paper was first introduced to Americans in 1847 as a stack of loose napkins, and was a total failure from the start. Why? Middle-class Americans were already receiving totally free toilet paper in the form of Sears Roebuck mail order catalog pages.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Saturday, February 03, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#618)

A MICKEY MOUSE OPERATION THAT'S NOT

Bar Harbor, Maine, other than a great place to eat fresh lobster, is the largest center for mammalian genetics in the world. They produce 3,000,000 mice a year for scientific research.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Sunday, February 04, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#619)

THAT'S ENOUGH RUNS TO DRIVE ONE BATTY

Even though baseball was a new sport in 1865, records were already being very accurately kept. In that year, on October 10th (a Tuesday), the Philadelphia Athletics set a record which still stands today, over 142 years later. That's because, while playing a double header, they first beat the Williamsport (Pennsylvania) city team 101-8, then later that day defeating the Danville (Illinois) team 130-11, totaling 231 runs.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Monday, February 05, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#620)

WHAT THEY NEEDED WAS A BLOWUP VINYL ZOO CURATOR

Officials at Houston's city zoo admitted their coral snake, displayed in a glass case was, uh, made of rubber. "We had live snakes in the exhibit, but they don't do well", said curator John Donaho.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#621)

SOME FOLKS, MENTALLY, STILL LIVING IN CAVES

Even as recently as 1988 a survey of 1,500 Australians showed 20% (1 in 5) men believed it was acceptable to kick or beat their wife if she failed to obey and keep a clean house. Also, in the U.S.A., a Rhode Island Rape Crisis Center revealed that 24% of 7th to 9th grade boys, and 16% of girls questioned believed it was okay for men on a date to force sex with a woman if he spent money on her.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#622)

HE WAS PROBABLY DRIVEN MAD BY GNATS ON HIS NO-NO

Robert Horton, 65, was sentenced to 30 days in jail by Judge Joe McDade in a circuit court in Pekin, Illinois, for gardening in the nude. After being convicted 6 times for the same offense, Mr. Norton said it was still his constitutional right to garden in exactly the same wardrobe God gave him, except for the tennis shoes.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#623)

HE MUST'VE BEEN PRETTY UGLY UNDER THAT BEARD?

When King Louis VII of France returned from the Crusades in 1152, with a clean shaven face, his wife, Lady Eleanor, demanded a divorce and married the King of England. She then tried to get her dowry, two French provinces, transferred to her new husband. King Louis refused, which started the "War of the Whiskers" which lasted until 1453, over 300 years later. (All, not for the hair, on his chinny, chin, chin.)

Andrew J. Hewett

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Friday, February 09, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#624)

A NICE PAIR OF DESIGNER FRAMES MIGHT'VE IMPROVED HIS MOOD

Postman Charles Palmer was to stand trial on mail fraud charges in Hilton Head, South Carolina, for ordering over 300 magazine subscriptions for an optometrist he became angry with, over a pair of glasses. (He was never tried. Two days before his scheduled court appearance, Mr. Palmer shot himself to death.)

Andrew J. Hewett

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Saturday, February 10, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#625)

A SIMPLE CURE FOR A PANDEMIC DISORDER

Before "Enriched" American white bread is baked, the preservatives BHA, BHT and calcium propionates are added to retard spoilage. These same, exact chemicals, removed from the diets of young hyperactive children has been proven to virtually cure their hyperactivity. (WAR: Wonder Bread vs. The Wonder Drug Ritalin. The battlefield? A child's body.)

Andrew J. Hewett

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#626)

YEP, THEY SURE SHOWED THEM ALRIGHT

Russian Orthodox dissenters known as the Old Believers refused to accept certain liturgical reforms to their religion in the 17th century and, over a period of several years, more than 20,000 of these dissenters burned themselves alive in protest.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Monday, February 12, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#627)

YET, NOW HE CAN'T APPLAUD HIS OWN ACTIONS

Donald E. Maurice, 33, walked into the wood shop at Appalachian University in Boone, North Carolina, and used a power saw to cut off his right arm. After which, he explained, "I did it to prevent myself from committing suicide".

Andrew J. Hewett

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#628)

THIS FRUIT CERTAINLY DIDN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE

A Santa Clara County, California, jail turned into a family reunion hall when Robert Arthur Magoon, age 19, and his father, Arthur Magoon, met for the very first time. Young Robert had violated his parole, while his absent, role model, father was behind bars for robbery.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#629)

WRONG RELIGION, OR WHAT?

The U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee reported in 1961 that Mao Tse-Tung's 1949 purge of China caused the murders of 61,000,000 people. (That's about ten times the number of humans killed by Adolph Hitler's Nazi Holocaust, yet the Western world took little notice.)

Andrew J. Hewett

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#630)

MAYBE NOW SHE CAN GET 20% OFF ON MANICURES?

Chanel Price, 31, was hired to deliver a singing telegram at a private St. Patrick's Day party in Malibu, California. She arrived by helicopter, stepped to the ground, then raised her hand to wave at the guests, losing two fingers to the chopper's fast rotating blades.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Friday, February 16, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#631)

WRONG POLES

According to a United Nations report in 1982, the sex education lessons taught on site in remote Asian villages were not reducing the birth rate in any significant numbers for the following reasons: Men, convinced they were the entire "baby makers," refused their female lovers birth control pills, swallowing the tablets themselves. Also, demonstrations with condoms had caused tribal users to either wear them on their fingers, or roll them down over bamboo poles (witchcraft style).

Andrew J. Hewett

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Saturday, February 17, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#632)

THE PURSE MIGHT'VE LOOKED GREAT WITH PRISON ATTIRE?

At exactly 12:03 P.M. on October 24, 1989, Kelvin Chambers was released from the Arlington Virginia County Jail. Exactly 14 minutes later, at 12:17, he attempted to steal a purse on the street outside the jail, and was back behind bars by 12:40.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Sunday, February 18, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#633)

NOSEY OLD BUGGER, HE WAS

Back in 1979 "in an attempt to curb immorality," KwaZulu-Natal Chief Ngcobo of Mafunze, South Africa, demanded examinations of every girl in his domain. Elder women in each village were asked to provide a list of virgins, with the award of a bull to the village with the longest list. Also, all "deflowered" young women were demanded to pay the chief $11.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Monday, February 19, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#634)

TAKES BRAVE SOULS THESE DAYS TO TEACH CHILDREN

Assistant school superintendent Douglas Tarrant of St. Petersburg, Florida, was charged with sexual abuse of a 15-year-old girl. Feeling helpless to defend himself against these charges, Tarrant committed suicide. The girl had retracted her story two days before, but police hadn't gotten around to telling him.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#635)

BUT WHO NEEDS THEM ANYWAY, SWEETHEART?

Under Muslim law, if a man performs a homosexual act with another man, he cannot marry that man's sister, daughter or mother.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#636)

AT THIS RATE A 150 POUND HUMAN COULD EAT A 300 POUND STEAK

Shrews are small, mouse-like nocturnal animals of the family Soricidae. They are probably the most ferocious ounce-for-ounce mammal alive and can kill and eat twice their body weight during any nightly rampage.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#637)

AH YES, THE PROPRIETY OF THE ENGLISH

As of at least a few years ago, in Liverpool, England, no man was allowed to dress or undress a female mannequin in any department store while children were watching. Nor were children allowed to look up the dresses of mannequins.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Friday, February 23, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#638)

HE WAS MOONLIGHTING WHILE THE SUN WAS OUT

Luigi Cincotta held a job with the Palermo Health Council in Italy for ten years, until he was fired in 1980. During those ten years he was absent at least five of those years with excuses such as illness, convalescence and deaths in the family. In reality, his main job was as a furniture salesman.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Saturday, February 24, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#639)

THAT'LL TEACH HIM

On January 28, 1990, Eddie Harris rushed over to his fiancé's Houston apartment and immediately changed TV channels to watch Super Bowl XXIV. His true love, 37-year-old Dolores Douglas, however, had been watching a Disney movie. Mr. Harris' sudden change of channels caused Ms. Douglas to forget the meat cooking in her oven, while she stabbed her lover in the back with a long-stemmed barbecue fork.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Sunday, February 25, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#640)

TRIPS TO THE SPITTOON MIGHT BREAK THE MOOD?

An example of a law so old no one knows why it was ever put on the books exists in Warrenville, Connecticut. That local ordinance prohibits a man or woman from using snuff during lovemaking, unless he or she has the permission of the partner.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Monday, February 26, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#641)

THESE FOLKS WOULD JUST HAVE TO GET DRUNK AT HOME

To celebrate its 100th year of organized soccer in Hereford, England, a grand festival was planned to let local lovers of the sport have a grand time. But, unfortunately, in the middle of all the planning and projects, someone took a closer look at the record books, and determined only 90 years had lapsed. This brought all planning and projects to a stop, instantly and permanently.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#642)

THEY BOTH DECIDED TO "RINSE OUT A FEW THINGS"

The Journal of the American Medical Association reported the deaths of two women in Seattle, each caused by too many enemas. One woman, following a radical mastectomy, had received four coffee enemas a day for fourteen days in a Mexican clinic. The other woman, attempting to treat gallstones, took ten to twenty enemas the first day, then as many as one an hour until she suffered seizures and went into a coma.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#643)

HE'LL HAVE TROUBLE SHAKING HANDS WEARING A STRAIGHTJACKET

While covering a news conference held by John Rogers, candidate for the U.S. Senate, Loren Tobia, news director for WSAZ-TV in Charleston, West Virginia, asked Rogers, "Do you think your recent stay in a mental institution will hurt your candidacy?" Rogers asked, "Was that a serious question?" then went over and punched Tobia in the face.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Thursday, March 01, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#644)

HE MIGHT BEAT IT WITH A GOOD LAWYER

It was a proud day for Dan Jackson when he became the police chief of Clear Water, Iowa. During his television interview he promised to make sure the laws of the city were followed, or else. And he was telling the truth. During the 10:00 P.M. news, several viewers called in to report their police chief had not been wearing his seat belt as he drove away; so he wrote himself his first ticket.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Friday, March 02, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#645)

IF MEN GOT PREGNANT, WOULD BIRTH CONTROL BE WORLDWIDE?

After Saudi Arabia made it a law that no form of birth control could be purchased under any circumstances in their country, the World Moslem League ruled, "Birth control was invented by enemies of Islam."

Andrew J. Hewett

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Saturday, March 03, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#646)

HE TRULY HAS MONEY AT HIS FINGERTIPS

Dennis John Alston was arrested by police in Van Nuys, California, on charges of forging checks. He was released on a $1,500 bond, which he paid with a cashier's check, also a forgery.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Sunday, March 04, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#647)

FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY AN EVENING OUT, PERHAPS?

Even though a new $34 million jail built in Dade County, Florida, was totally state-of-the-art, just before opening, it was found some important attachments were missing. Michael Berg, county director of jails and prisons in Florida, said he could not explain why the 198 cells had no doors attached, but assured all present this could be fixed.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Monday, March 05, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#648)

THEY CAN'T GO ON MEETING LIKE THIS

Nancy Wiggins, 41, of St. Clairsville, Ohio, was driving home from work, when an approaching car crossed the line, causing a collision which hospitalized the driver's of both cars. And who was the other driver? Kenneth Wiggins, 45, the husband of Nancy, on his way to work.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#649)

WONDER IF HE HAS TROUBLE CASHING CHECKS NOW?

Gary Eugene Duda, 35, received a positive ruling from Superior Court in De Kalb, Georgia, to officially change his first name to "Zippidy." Therefore, Mr. Duda is now legally known as Zippidy Duda.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#650)

OH, CRAP!!!

On August 8, 2004, a Dave Matthews Band tour bus stopped on a bridge over the Chicago River, where the driver got out and opened a valve, dumping 800 pounds of raw sewage over the edge. Far below, a Chicago River sightseeing boat had 120 people on its upper deck, who were all drenched in this human waste.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Thursday, March 08, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#651)

AND YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD A BAD DAY

Joseph Briggs, 60, of West Philadelphia, whose car slammed into two utility poles, plunged down a 20-foot embankment and crashed though a fence, was able to get out of the car and climb up to the street to signal for help. As he tried to wave down a passing truck, however, Briggs was hit and killed instantly.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Friday, March 09, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#652)

THIS FATHER FOUND HIS SON A REPLACEMENT FOR VIDEO GAMES

Doctor Leonard Wolin was suspended by the Michigan Board of Medicine for allowing his 14-year-old son to assist in a bladder operation on a 50-year-old female patient. The boy had inflated a catheter balloon inside the woman's abdomen, as well as sewn stitches to complete the procedure.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Saturday, March 10, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#653)

GEICO AND STATE FARM PROBABLY DON'T WANT OFFICES HERE

When Albania legalized private ownership of automobiles in 1992, there were no rules, no signs, no laws and no instructions for the sudden explosion of 40,000 licensed drivers. This left untrained operators to drive on both sides of the road, with little regard for intersections. In the first 6 months, alone, 166 pedestrians were run over and killed.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Sunday, March 11, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#654)

THERE WAS SOMETHING "FISHY" GOING ON THAT NIGHT

In 1992, singer Patti LaBelle had been performing for about 90 minutes on stage in Warwick, Rhode Island, when she stopped singing and explained to the audience her seafood platter eaten backstage had only contained seven shrimp. With that, she walked off stage.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Monday, March 12, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#655)

HE WAS CLEANING UP BY SAVING HIS RENT

When federal officers in San Francisco opened a small room in the Federal Building they found a bed, a hot plate, two televisions, as well as cash, stocks and bonds. It was soon determined the only employee with a key to that room was Virgil E. Johnson, custodian, who was away on vacation. Fellow workers then admitted Johnson had been living in that room for almost seventeen years.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#656)

THIS OLE BOY NEEDS SOME DIRT, BAD

After Ferdinand Marcos died in exile, the Philippine government denied his widow, Imelda, her request to return his body for burial. In response she stated, "Look at these typhoons, volcanic eruptions, and now what's happening in America. For the sake of the Republic of the Philippines, for the Filipino people, [we must] put the remains of the president to rest so these negative vibrations will leave us." (She also held "viewing" cocktail parties for her husband's corpse while it "slept" in his coffin.)

Andrew J. Hewett

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#657)

THIS SUBWAY TRANSFER TOOK HIM STRAIGHT TO HEAVEN

While waiting to catch a train in a Chicago subway station, Angelo Thurman, 22, told friends he could tell when a train was coming. With that, he jumped onto the tracks and placed his ear against the third rail, instantly electrocuting himself.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Thursday, March 15, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#658)

AND YOU CAN BET GERMAN ELVIS GOT "ALL SHOOK UP"

"The Best Elvis in the Whole World" sued "Germany's Best Elvis" over rights to claim to be the best Elvis impersonator in Germany. The judge ruled in favor of the best in the world. (Let's all give him a great big round of yawns.)

Andrew J. Hewett

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Friday, March 16, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#659)

THEY IMPORTED THEIR IGNORANCE

In colonial New England it was illegal for a husband and wife to have sex on Sunday. And any child born on Sunday was denied baptism. Why? The prevailing ignorance of the day said a child born on Sunday was conceived on Sunday.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Saturday, March 17, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#660)

A GREAT PLACE TO OPEN A WIG FRANCHISE

In Skopje, in the former country of Yugoslavia, if a married woman was caught having sex with a man other than her husband, she was taken to the city limits, her head shaven, and left alone to walk back to town. If a man was caught doing the same thing, little or nothing was done.

Andrew J. Hewett

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Sunday, March 18, 2007

FACT OF THE DAY (#661)

TRY PUTTING THIS PIECE OF FRUIT IN YOUR LUNCH BOX

The Cauliflorous Jackfruit (Artocarpus heterophyllus Lam), native to Malaysia, is the largest fruit produced by a tree. This huge editable treat can grow to three feet long (91.4 centimeters), twenty inches in diameter (50.8 centimeters) and weigh up to 75 pounds (34.01943 kilograms).

Andrew J. Hewett

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